1. Those punk-ass bitches in their “Urban Assault Vehicles” who mocked my Yaris at the gas station last summer are now sucking up and are soooo impressed with my gas mileage. Bite me losers!! Enjoy that $100 fill-up!!

2. Given #1, feeling smug is fun.

3. Writing down all the NPR stations between Erie and Maine was a fabulously good investment of time. As soon as one station faded to static, presto change-o! New NPR station!!

4. WTF is with Red Necks living above the Mason-Dixon?? Please stay where we can keep an eye on you-down South! I had no less than 3 encounters with Bubbas in pick-up trucks and Confederate flags in the back window trying to pick me up at a gas station.

5. With regards to #4, seriously dudes, you live in the Poconos, Catskills and Adirondack regions and you’re rockin’ a mullet, a racist flag, a rust bomb truck, and a twang???….you’re in upstate New York you loons!! Do us all a favor and learn to ski, scarf speedys, and drink bad wine from the Finger Lakes region.

6. Up-state New York is interminably long….and sooooooooooooo boring to drive across…must.stay.alert….very.bored…losing.consciousnes…….snnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzz………..

7. Annoying and awesomely bad music is the best thing staying awake in your car. I recommend Tom Jones Reloaded. The Greatest Hits collection.

8. Having to pull over and scrub the dead bugs off your windshield just so you can see is way gross.

9. Cute and charming towns I noted at night on the way out to Maine-not so cute nor charming on the way back. I suppose I should thank daylight for that.

10. The Hypermiling movement must be catching on because I found a tremendous drop in the acts of douchebaggery out on the open road.

…to be continued…

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