Oh, Vladimir, now what is this business with redirecting your warheads at Europe? And over a silly little missile defense program no less…

…sheesh, is this what a girl has to do to get your attention?

I know it’s hard letting go, but we both agreed it was for the best. Just because you’re no longer President doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less once you’re Prime Minister.

And that thing with Poland and the Czech Republic are just flings, dalliances, really, they mean nothing to me.

You know my heart belongs to you.

Now be a good boy and stop picking on those former Soviet states. You just point those nuclear missiles back over here at the US where they belong, and let me fix you a nice drink, ‘kay?