Sailor Man and I made it back from Detroit yesterday. We live another day to tell the tale. Here’s the short version:

1. To all travelers on I-75 and I-90, the nut-cases rockin’ out in the Yaris were listening to Talking Heads, I think that should explain everything.

2. My obnoxious and perpetually drunk Uncle Jim is still obnoxious and perpetually drunk and I didn’t even have to see him to verify this as all his cronies at the Gaelic League were kind enough to do it for me.

3. You still can not use the words English, English Muffin, England, Brit, British, Great Britain, Queen, Prince, King, Princess, London, United Kingdom, George Lloyd, Winston Churchill, or Devonshire Cream around my mother less you want to listen to a screaming tirade about 800 years of English oppression of the Irish.

4. My mom’s older sister, Aunt Mary and her husband, Uncle Bill, are forever the Dog’s Bollocks.

5. I didn’t think it possible, but my brother’s second wife has even a more whack job family than I do, in fact, they may even be scarier.

6. Drunken Jackasses who think they can walk across Iceland in a day should be given the opportunity to do so barefoot, in January, with only a small bag of trail mix and pint of Brenevin.

7. Big echo in Detroit from all the damn concrete. Is there nothing there they haven’t paved over?

8. If my brother is going to insist on keeping his family computer in the middle of his damn kitchen, then he needs to do a better job of securing his and his wife’s porn collection from innocent eyes.

9. Surprisingly, pre-teen children really dig old Bill Cosby stand up routines, which is exactly as life should be.

10. Sometimes there’s just not enough booze to get you through family dinner.

Happy Freakin’ Holidays…

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