I heard it again this weekend. Someone referring to another person’s weakness as a need to “grow some”. You know what that means. Balls. The person needed to grow some BALLS. Cojones. Nuts. Nads. Thus implying that all acts of derring-do and general heroicism come from having a pair of these “man tonsils”. Dog, I hate that.

So here’s my problem: you see, I’M A GIRL. And I don’t have testicles. Never have, never will. DON’T CARE TO EITHER. Seriously, guys, look in the mirror some time, they look ridiculous and aside from procreative properties, most women could give a damn. And while we’re on the subject, this lack of male physiology has never prevented me from speaking up, standing up, beating up, and giving it to anyone or anything that stands in my way. And there are plenty of women out there just like me. So where the hell do people get the idea that owning a pair of testicles equates courage? I could own a pair of testicles. I could castrate some guy right now, put ’em in a jar and keep ’em in my purse. There. Would that count? I don’t think so. Not on any level.

What I need right now is another phrase, term, word, whatever, that replaces “balls” as the mantle for bravura and pugnacity.  

So the next time I’m trying to bolster a female friend, co-worker, sistah about being too timid, instead of telling her she needs to “grow some” (something she clearly doesn’t need to do) I can tell her________________________________???

Advertisements