If there is one thing to be truly wary of this holiday season, it is Sailor Man on an egg nog high. The man is completely addicted. You name the brand, he’s tried it. He drinks it by the gallon. All month long. I’d be hardly surprised to wake up one morning and find him lying in the gutter littered with empty nog containers and a tell-tale drool rolling down his chin. He is that bad.

I like it on occassion, but with my morning cereal? With a nice dinner salad? As an after workout recovery drink ala Joe DiMaggio? Actually, I can go with that one. Really though, I only like mine with booze. Particularly the way my mother makes it.

So here’s the family recipe for egg nog, or as my sibs and I like to call it: “Grandma’s Christmas Coronaries”. This is not a recipe for pansies. It’s the chemical equivalent of an atomic bomb, great for stripping furniture, and will make you feel like a Christmas Tree fell on you. Hold on to your teeth and enjoy.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 4 Dozen eggs
  • 1 Pint (yes, pint) Cognac
  • 1 Pint Bourbon (Whiskey not Sour Mash)**
  • 1 Pint Rum (yes, this too, don’t get weak on me now, either white or dark is fine)
  • 1 Quart Milk
  • 1 Pint Heavy Cream
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 TBS Vanilla Extract 

INSTRUCTIONS: Separate the egg. Beat egg yolks and sugar on high until mixture becomes pale yellow and ribbon like. Slowly pour in the booze while mixing; add the milk and stir.  Whip cream separately until stiff also beat the egg whites until stiff and then gently fold both into the nog. Top with nutmeg. If you can find it, use a whole nutmeg and freshly grind with a rasp, truly, nothing tastes better.

**I have to state that Grandma used to make this with one pint of home brew whiskey which was dastardly lethal and I swear over a 100 proof. To protect the innocent, the family over the years has switched to bourbon.

Yes, this is an uncooked version as we Irish believe that healthy doses of alcohol kills all things bad. Call it the “Scorched Earth Method to Good Health”. If you’re really worried about salmonella poisoning (you pansy), you can nuke the eggs in the microwave prior to use.

Serve to the ones you love, or hate, it really doesn’t matter. Slainte!

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