So another Sunday is passing by with the usual morning news talk shows and an earful of NPR. Something I have heard quite a bit about lately is the reinstating of the draft. The thought behind this is, if every family is susceptible to going to war, then government will be more hesitant to start one.

I disagree with this theory. First, Vietnam showed us that war is largely the providence of the poor, who do the actual fighting and dying, while the rich merely profit from it. Ya, know, ’cause Jr’s in college and since only the rich will be able to afford it in the future, that kills that idea. So unless there’s closure to major loopholes in the draft laws, I fail to see how it will remedy the situation.

But here’s what I think we need to do to prevent future wars: we need to reinstate the tradition of rulers leading their troops into battle. That’s right, King front and center, sword held high, screaming like a loon, while they ride full-tilt boogie into the carnage.

You want to stop war? This is the way to do it. Clearly lawmakers don’t give a rats ass in sending the nation’s finest and bravest into the fray, but when you make them directly responsible for carrying out the mission…?

It’ll be a family affair! Laura will be a surgery nurse, the twins can serve as USO floozies, and Cheney will clear the battlefield of the dead.

This will work. I can just see it now! Actually, I can’t under present cicumstances, because for all his posturing about being a “cowboy”, Bush is actually afraid of horses. But no matter, we’ll get him a heavily armored Ford truck, no wait, too expensive, we’ll get him a mildly armored bicycle, no wait, won’t work in sand, we’ll get him a stripped down moped…

BATTLE!!!!

Advertisements