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Sailor Man and I share an affinity for epic fantasy films. Lord of the Rings I, II, and III, 300, Troy, etc. Make it an epic fantasy B Movie and I’m drooling in my popcorn. So I thought we would have rollicking good time this weekend with a double feature of “Beowulf & Grendel” and “Pathfinder”.

First, let’s start with “Beowulf”. The story is based on the epic poem but adds other elements to the picture that make it, I think, a much more interesting story. It’s filmed in Iceland so it’s chock full of panoramic-porn shots that ought to have made the Iceland Tourist Bureau thrilled. And it’s funny, I mean really funny. Gerald Butler (King Leonidas of 300) stars as Beowulf, a man who wants nothing more than to do his job and is not about to believe his own press, exagerated as it is becoming, and encourages others not to do so as well. Need an ancient hero? Butler’s your man.

Sars Skellengaard stars as the Danish king besieged by the troll Grendel whom he has wronged. He is also, unfortunately, besieged by the Irish priest Brendan (later to become St. Brendan) who has travelled to his land to convert his people. He has a quietly amusing performance and I always enjoy whatever movie he is in. Except for King Arthur, which just blew chunks, such potential, but a miserable failure of a film.

Sarah Polley seems wildly out of place as a witch who foresees people’s deaths, but she serves to pull together the added elements of the plot line, plus she has a killer pick-up line she uses on Beowulf. Completely worth the price of admission. 

This is a low, low budget movie with some low, low humor. It’s saucy, racy, a little dirty, and it positively rocks. If you suffered through Beowulf in high school, I dare say this movie will more than make up for it.

“Pathinder”? Just sucked. Which shouldn’t be all that surprising since it went through numerous re-edits and release dates. Bizarre, bad, and I want those two hours of my life back.

So enjoy.  If anyone actually enjoyed “Pathfinder”, I’d like to hear from you and know what is going on inside that brain of yours.

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